Singapore Airlines Wants You to Eat a Meal on a Parked Plane

Last Updated on April 7, 2024 by Adam Watts

Once more for emphasis: Singapore Airlines wants you to eat a meal on a parked plane. And just to avoid any confusion, yes, they do want you to pay for the experience, up to $600 for the Suites tier in fact.

And they sold out. Immediately.

There are two ways of looking at this.

Firstly, Singapore Airlines has a stellar reputation, winning “World’s Best International Airline” 25 times in a row. It also proudly announces its awards for “Best In-flight Entertainment”, “Best Frequent Flyer Programme” and, err, “First Class Amenity Kit – Female”.

So yes, from that stand point, it does make sense that even if the plane is parked, people are happy to pay for the Singapore Airlines experience. And I can confirm that the business class experience, food included, is mind-blowing.

And people like novelty, even if that novelty involves paying actual money to sit in a shriveled economy class seat and eat mush out of a plastic tray with plastic cutlery. (But again, Singapore Airlines’ food experience is par excellence so I do understand this.)

But let’s look at it another way, and let’s just hypothetically imagine that Ryanair or Spirit Airlines wanted to try this strategy to recoup some losses. Let’s start with the obvious:

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Okay, let’s be serious and think about this properly.

The worst part about traveling is flying, unless you end up with cockroaches crawling over your toothbrush while living in the Amazon Rainforest. But that particular travel woe is rare.

More specifically, the worst part about flying for most people is the airplane itself. They’re cramped and uncomfortable and generally just awful.

The only reason people accept airplanes is because there’s currently no better method of getting from Point A to a long-distance-away Point B. Although depending on the distance, trains or even buses can be a good option.

So the idea of getting on an airplane knowing full well that when you exit in three hours you’re going to be in the same place is patently absurd to me. I know that that can happen with some airlines because someone forgot to wake up the pilot or the engine explodes or some other inconvenience, but usually you can expect to take off, then land, then enjoy a sun-drenched vacation somewhere fun.

In this situation, the hypothetical airline would cram you into your seats, knees touching your chin because since the pandemic started they’ve decided to shrink leg space even more because they think people will just be happy to be on airplanes again.

When the food comes, you discover that your prepaid meal price actually just includes a bottle of water and a Biscoff biscuit. To upgrade to food that comes in a tray, you have to pay extra. Six peas or ten?

Where’s the cutlery, you ask? Oh, you didn’t pay for that either.

But it’s not all bad. Having a meal on a parked plane does do away with the discomfort of ears popping at take off and turbulence and a lot of the other pain points of flying. That said, there are some things a meal on a parked plane can’t–

“WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP KICKING MY CHAIR, YOU LITTLE BRAT!”

As you turn around to glare at the offending progeny, someone’s duffel bag filled with bricks falls out of the overhead compartment and smacks you on the head because someone else has opened it to “get my phone charger, sorry”.

What is happening? People, this plane is going nowhere! You don’t need to have packed for a week of vacation. We’re eating and going home. You didn’t need to bring suitcases and phone chargers and children.

And so, while eating your teeth-challenging bread and your suspiciously-flavored pasta, you mull over the fact there is no solution for human stupidity, and you wonder what might be happening on the actual Singapore Airlines meal on a parked plane.

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Singapore Airlines’ meal on a parked plane idea comes after their idea for 3-hour “flights to nowhere” were scrapped for “environmental implications” and “financial viability”, with the latter presumably bearing more weight.

While the meal on a parked plane idea seems to be successful, I still have many questions about the experience, so if anyone knows, please enlighten me in the comments.

1. To get to the plane, do you still have to go through airport security?
2. Is there still a safety demonstration onboard?
3. Do you have to wear a seatbelt in case there is unexpected turbulence?
4. Can you buy duty free on the way out?
5. Will deplaning be delayed because they’re “waiting for a gate to be available”?
6. Will the airline still overbook seats? And if so, will they forcibly remove people from the plane? (Looking at you, United.)