How to Cross the Road in Hanoi

Last Updated on April 13, 2024 by Adam Watts

Hanoi, capital of Vietnam, is full of mopeds, and I mean that quite literally. With that in mind, here’s how to cross the road in Hanoi.

In case you didn’t catch it, the roads in Hanoi are crammed with mopeds, a constant flow of high-pitched engines whining past wherever you go. There’s also a beautiful park in the city with a temple in the center and it was there that I wanted to go. Problem was, there was a road – a fairly wide road – running around the perimeter of the park. With no tunnels under – or bridges over – this road to speak of, the humble pedestrian must endeavor to cross this chaos of vehicles directly. It is this road in Hanoi I’ll explain how to cross.

Having walked without success all the way around the park in search of a way to cross the road, I joined a throng of people gathered at a slightly narrower section of road. Nobody spoke, but we all knew why we were there.

There were seven of us, which is the official amount designated a throng: four locals, two other tourists, and me. Two of the locals were standing off the sidewalk and on the road itself, with mopeds whizzing past a few inches in front of them, horns buzzing. The rest of us waited on the sidewalk and assessed the situation.

One of the people bravely readying herself on the road – a tiny woman with white hair – suddenly stepped forward. I gasped. A moped swerved to avoid her. I feared a collapse like a row of dominoes, but miraculously the rider only grazed another moped and nobody fell. Traffic continued relentlessly, just marginally narrower now that one of our group was in the road.

Now the path had been cleared, the second person who had been waiting on the road joined the first. The other two locals also stepped into the road. Me and the other tourists remained steadfastly on the sidewalk. We weren’t yet brave enough to cross the road in Hanoi.

I don’t know how to describe what happened next without it sounding preposterous. But here goes. The first woman, having secured her place on the road, now just…walked across. It was at least ten meters. She didn’t even look up, just walked. Traffic didn’t slow at all. It was like she was Moses parting the Red Sea, only Moses was a tiny Vietnamese lady and the Red Sea was a tsunami of mopeds. Horns blared more violently, more swerving happened, but no accidents. Only five seconds had passed but one of our throng (now a mere bunch) was across.

One by one the other locals followed suit, in order of age. Experience counted for a lot here. That left just me and two other tourists. Wanting to be brave and impressive, I closed my eyes and stepped into the road, feigning nonchalance but in actuality terrified to my very soul. I didn’t die. I heard a horn buzz and buzz and when I opened my eyes I realized a moped was stopped in front of me and the rider was screaming at me. I stepped back onto the sidewalk. The rider yelled something else and zoomed off.

Another tourist stepped out. Nothing happened. Traffic diverted a step but kept flowing. Horns buzzed but nothing directed specifically at us. The other tourist joined the first, holding the first one’s hand. Presumably this was a couple traveling together but if they just wanted support from each other I wouldn’t have blamed them.

A few minutes passed. The other tourists remained in the road, me on the sidewalk, all of us watching the oncoming traffic, trying to assess for any openings. A few times the tourists tried another step but instantly retracted. The traffic was continuous. The only thing in the history of the world that has ever had fewer openings is Federer’s backhand, circa 2007.

I looked over at the park. It was very pretty. Lots of beautiful trees and a big lake and the top of a temple peeking out from over the canopy. It would be a perfect place to spend an afternoon. But how could I get there?

Then I had a brainwave. My eureka moment. The way to cross this road in Hanoi was obvious…

Just don’t. I gave one last look at the traffic and went home. Maybe I’d come back at dawn and see if there was less traffic. Probably these two tourists would still be standing here.

[Update: I did go back, early in the morning, and the park was worth it. Good luck, fellow road-crossers!]

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P.S. Here’s a video showing traffic in Hanoi, if you don’t believe me.