The Weirdest Thing About the Christ the Redeemer Statue

Last Updated on May 18, 2020 by Adam Watts

The Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio de Janeiro is one of the more incredible things to see in life. It’s up there with certain famous sculptures in the Dakotas. But the weirdest thing about the Christ the Redeemer statue is that there’s a freaking elevator that goes up to it.

I’m a fit and able human being and I have no problem climbing some steps to see something so impressive. And besides, there’s a train most of the way up, use of which is encouraged.

But I’m no ableist. Less fit and able people should also be able to see such marvels of the world. As such, efforts should be made to make things like the Christ the Redeemer statue more accessible.

The Powers That Be in Rio agreed with me so, after building the train line that goes most of the way from ground level to the top of the mountain, they even installed a little elevator right to the platform containing the statue. Well done, everyone. That’s a job well done. Everyone’s happy.

Wait, what’s that?

It’s something.

No. Surely not. What have they done?

Why have they done that?

Moving stairs. An escalator. Running up the side of the Christ the Redeemer platform. Why? Who is it for??

It’s not made for people who can walk up stairs, because those people have stairs they can walk up. It’s not made for people who need elevators, because those people have an elevator they can use.

It’s made for…disabled claustrophobic people? People who had a freak accident in which a malfunctioning elevator severed their legs and are consequently now afraid of elevators and also unable to walk?

If anyone knows why this escalator exists, please tell me (wild speculation also welcome). In the meantime, I’m going to go and pray to Jesus that his statue in Rio collapses and kills every damn person on that escalator.