Here are the 15 stages I went through when playing blackjack in Las Vegas.
- How do I play again?
- Okay, that round didn’t count. I think I get the hang of it now.
- Did I win? I think I won, didn’t I?
- I’m still winning? This is so easy. Why aren’t you guys winning too? Why are you getting angry? You should’ve just stayed at 15 and you would’ve won that hand, obviously.
- Vegas is awesome. I’ve only been here a few hours and I’m already up $70. I’ll be rich by the time I leave!
- Do I want a drink? How much is it? Well that’s very nice of you. I’ll take a vodka and coke. Thank you.
- Damn it, she’s so lucky. She got blackjack twice in a row? What are the odds of that even happening?
- I have 12 again, fuck. Last three times this happened I got a picture card. Surely I won’t this time. Hit me! Fuck.
- I have two 10s, okay, split. YES! A 20 and a 19 and she’s starting with a 15. YES! Bust. Come to me money, come to me.
- This game is stupid. I haven’t won for like an hour.
- Okay, I won some and I lost some and I’m back to where I started. But I’m getting free drinks so I might as well play more. Why yes, another vodka and coke would be great.
- I’m down $100 but I’ve had such crappy cards recently that surely the next hand will be amazing.
- How are you guys doing? Not great either? Damn. Should we leave? Okay, last game.
- You won? Nice! Shall we go? One more? Okay, okay. I’ll play. Last one this time for sure though.
- Lost again. How did she get 21 from there? What the hell? Blackjack is a dumb game that requires too much luck. Let’s go play roulette and win some money back.